I envy my niece. She wants to be a vet and is very driven to get into vet school and achieve her dream. She has wanted to be a vet since I started dating my husband (her uncle) 13+ years ago. I can honestly say that, as a child, I wanted to be about everything for 15 minutes or so. I have wanted to be a pilot, veterinarian (until I found out what they really do), teacher, writer, musician, lawyer, vulcanologist, geologist, paleontologist, storm chaser, chemist, and president.
Have your kids ever made you watch (or read) Olivia? The pig who wears red and has a great imagination? My life plans kind of looked like hers. Very non-specific. Even when I got to college and decided to major in history, people would ask me what I wanted to do. This was usually asked in a condescending voice and by those with business degrees (or something else "useful"). "And what do you plan on doing once you have your degree in history?" Like I majored in underwater basket weaving or something. Depending on the person inquiring, I either told them I would teach, go to law school, or "I don't know, but I have to serve 5 years in the Army first, so I'll have time to think about it." I never told them that I settled on history because they offered to send me to Europe, and the English department was too far of a walk from where I lived.
Just between you, me and the entire internet- stay-at-home mom never even entered into my mind.
I live my life open to the possibilities that could be just around the corner (or at the next duty station). I have taken the LSAT, GRE, and am about to take the VCLA and Praxis2 in two subjects. I have reviewed Trigonometry AND Shakespeare, because I am not sure which subject I might get hired to teach. I'm probably going to seek certification in "Social Studies," which is a huge mish-mash of history, geography, economics, and political correctness. I'm not sure the other "social studies" teachers will care for me. ;)
I attempted to learn how to knit, which is significantly harder to do than the ladies on the ferry made it look. I did manage to tie the needles together in a big knot (which cracked up everyone around me and made me laugh so hard that I cried) and, eventually, I made a 2"x2" square. I saved it, so I can show the kids that I tried, but will never be able to knit my grandkids booties (or anything else). I learned how to sew, which was easy because I bought a really smart sewing machine. When you have a Boy Scout and a Cub Scout, this is a very useful skill. I have brushed up on my Spanish (surprisingly useful here in NoVa). I would like to learn Arabic, just to see if I can. I homeschooled for 7 years and did extensive research into learning and teaching styles.
That makes me tired just reading it. But please don't be impressed. That's not my point at all.
Where exactly has all this taken me? Ummmm, so far- my living room, where I put together Olivia puzzles with #5 (3 yo girl).
I like to blame the Army and our itinerant lifestyle for my lack of direction, but that's just an excuse. Tonight, after swapping emails with my beloved, I realized that I have been meandering pretty much my whole life. I don't understand it, but I sometimes wish I could be like those people who always wanted to be a doctor or musician or ANYTHING, and have spent their life in pursuit of their goal. I set small goals, and usually achieve them (see knitting story above for one of many notable exceptions), but WOW to live your life with that kind of focus. On the other hand, I feel bad for those who fall short. What if you always wanted to be a doctor, but can't get into or through med school? The heartbreak must be terrible. My lack of path has never led me to crashing lows, but I think perhaps I have missed some stunning highs along the way.
Is it a legitimate life goal is to dabble in as many things as you can before you die? How do I foster big life goals in my kids when I still don't know what I'll be when I grow up? My sons both want to be specific things (#1- chef, #2- inventor/engineer), and have been very consistent about it over the years. I am nurturing their dreams as best as I can, while I continue on my own meandering path.
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