Less than 2% of the population serves.
I don't know that the other 98% seriously cares in a material, definite way about military spouses. My impression is that too many care in a fleeting, unserious way, much like everyone cares about the starving kids in Africa or Haiti. I don't think it is because people are cold or unfeeling (though some might be). I think it is because we are invisible to them.
We are clustered around military bases, mostly in the South. The military makes sure most bases are not convenient to any major population centers, keeping us almost cloistered from most of American society. They don't know us. And as the war drags on (and on and on), I, for one, don't think I know them anymore.
So for all those areas without military, let me break into the rhythm of your life to introduce you to someone you might not know- the military spouse.
She is young or not-so-young-anymore. She is college educated, or not- because frequent moves don't leave much time to finish school. Sometimes she isn't a she, there are men who have watched their wives go off to war.
One thing is for sure- she misses her soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine.
She has kids who miss their dad, and she tries to maintain the schedule they had when there were two parents. She is exhausted. Offer to drive her kid home from baseball.
She sees children at military family events, but doesn't have her own yet, because he is always deployed or training up for deployment. Be a friend to her.
She has her happy face on, but inside her heart is breaking, as she unwillingly ticks down the days to his departure. She smiles for her kids, who don't know he is leaving yet; her fellow spouses, to try to keep spirits up; and herself, to keep from crying. Smile back.
She is in church with her kids, trying to make them behave and quiet the baby by herself. Be kind to her.
She is at the grocery store filling her cart with things that can be cooked for one, or she is finding things that kids will eat that are reasonably nutritious and are easy to cook because they can't keep having chicken nuggets for dinner. Invite her over for dinner, or bring her a meal.
She is new in town and her soldier is already gone. She wants/ needs to work, but is struggling to find something. Point her in a good direction.
Her best friend is in a hostile country, with dangers everywhere. She is lonely without him. Call her just to say hello.
She worries. Her heart is heavy and a few minute chat on Skype can make her week. Pray for her.
Pray for all of us. Pray for our servicemen and women to return safely and an end to these wars.
That's how you thank a military spouse.
