I so wish all my kids had to do was write some lame-o essay about what they did this summer. The school they will attend in 10 days (but who's counting?) has Summer Enrichment Packets. Yup, just in case you and the kids can't come up with anything else to fight about, there's HOMEWORK. Crap.
I can sort of understand why they do it- my kids have been out of school for about 12 weeks. But, when I was kid (sidenote: that phrase is a SURE sign of aging, even more so than crow's feet), we didn't have summer enrichment. Sure, my high school made us read 3 books a summer, but that pales in comparison to the envelope of suffering I received in the mail. I know, we are "preventing Summer Slide." Of course, our little rocket scientists are going to forget everything over three months of vacation. The solution? SHORTER SUMMER VACATION. If we spread the vacation days out, we wouldn't spend the first month of school re-hashing the last grade. And I really like three day weekends. Y'know?
Back to my surprise gift from the school....
One envelope per school age kid. That's four envelopes. The older two boys received math workbooks (!!!) to complete. 30 lessons per book. Did I mention I didn't receive these gems until mid-July because we just. moved. here? And then there are the two book reports #2 has to write, and the 3 essays and six paragraphs #1 has to write. #3 has a book "report" form to fill out, a book log to keep (right....because I've been tracking that), and a packet of math worksheets (30 pages-ish) to complete.
I still had one envelope to open and I needed a drink. But #4 is only going into Kindergarten. This should be okay. Coloring, letters, stuff like that, right? No. Not even close. Better get out the wine, sister, because your summer fun is OVER. Like right now.
#4 has a PACKET of work to complete. Writing the alphabet and her name (thank God I gave her a short name), writing the colors three times in the correct colors (and without opening the new crayons because then they will disappear before school), counting the cans in my pantry, cutting shapes out of magazines, making a chart, reading logs and more. OY VEY! The kicker was the cover letter closed with a wish for us to "Have Fun!" completing their packet of torment.
At this point, I want to call the teachers and explain to them that I have SIX kids, four of whom suddenly have summer homework, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Take a drink. Repeat.
#4's packet also has a grading rubric. Did I mention that the 8th grader doesn't have a grading rubric?
Here is where I flunk mommy-hood.
I have actually read the rubric to find out how much work she MUST do to not get an unsatisfactory. For example, finding and naming 4 of the 6 assigned shapes is "satisfactory". Awesome. This would be the continuation of my college's mantra "C's for completed; D is for done." So we are no longer "doing our best" this summer; I have down shifted to "doing what we must" and "surely they are going to teach you some of this stuff during the year?"
Unfortunately, I MUST get her a library card. Failure to do so will get #4 an Unsatisfactory. Really? Aren't the teachers really grading me, since #4 can't drive or fill out the forms? And seriously, I may move next summer and I will only lose the damn thing, so why oh why are you making me go BACK to the customer service desk of the library to get a card that #4 will never use? Will they keep #6 from scaring the bejeezus out of the library's frog by banging on the glass while I try to get said card? Or maybe keep #5 from chasing #4 around the children's section? Sigh.
We are almost done. Still need to edit #1's stuff, #2 needs to draw some pictures about his books. #3 is going to go down to the wire, as is #4. I hope there isn't any homework on the first day. I think I'll already be tired.
16 August 2011
At long last, have we no sense of decency?
So it seems that we are going to have an election next year. I am going to have to go into pre-election news black-out at the earliest point ever. And, for the first time, I may include a Facebook blackout.
I love to follow current events and political matters. I feel it is my duty as a citizen and it is more interesting than "the Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that". I can't even believe the level of vitriol we've reached when we are still fifteen months away from voting. I worry about our nation's soul, especially when Great Britain seems to be coming apart at the seams and London is doing a great impression of a Third World city. What the hell is going on?
Members of one political party labeling a fair-sized group of Americans (as well as some of their Congressional colleagues) as "terrorists"? Name calling...that's so fourth grade. True confession- I have been known to refer to certain persons as "socialists", but unlike "terrorist", it is the name for a proponent of a political/ economic system. Might I add that Bernie Sanders (VT) wears it with pride. Terrorists try to achieve their goals through intimidation and violence while creating a climate of fear that weakens resistance to them and their aims. Sounds more like the rioters in London than Senator Rubio, no? Aren't there enough people elsewhere that wish us as a nation harm? Do we have to turn on each other?
I really try to think things through. I try to apply reason before deciding on things, though my faith and life experiences will be the lens through which I perceive the world. I really like our Constitution; I think the founders did a bang-up job. I am wary of ideas that may have the unintended consequence of limiting freedoms guaranteed by that document. I enjoy hearing different viewpoints, especially from other people whom I believe think carefully about their opinions.
I am therefore dismayed when I see people on Facebook write the equivalent of "If you don't agree with me, you can't be my friend." Wow. Really? I am also surprised at how frequently I see it. I rather enjoy having friends who are not in lock-step agreement with me. I really think it enriches my life. But the lack of "tolerance" for differing opinions makes me sad. And tolerance is not a one-way street. I would love to see mutual respect flow from left to right and back again. What exactly are we teaching our children? That we are only friends with people who think just like we do? Apply that notion to skin color or religion instead of politics, and consider what that says about us as a nation.
We live in conflicted times. I hope we find our way back to living with kindness and charity towards our fellow man. I wonder if I'll have any Facebook friends left by then.
I love to follow current events and political matters. I feel it is my duty as a citizen and it is more interesting than "the Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that". I can't even believe the level of vitriol we've reached when we are still fifteen months away from voting. I worry about our nation's soul, especially when Great Britain seems to be coming apart at the seams and London is doing a great impression of a Third World city. What the hell is going on?
Members of one political party labeling a fair-sized group of Americans (as well as some of their Congressional colleagues) as "terrorists"? Name calling...that's so fourth grade. True confession- I have been known to refer to certain persons as "socialists", but unlike "terrorist", it is the name for a proponent of a political/ economic system. Might I add that Bernie Sanders (VT) wears it with pride. Terrorists try to achieve their goals through intimidation and violence while creating a climate of fear that weakens resistance to them and their aims. Sounds more like the rioters in London than Senator Rubio, no? Aren't there enough people elsewhere that wish us as a nation harm? Do we have to turn on each other?
I really try to think things through. I try to apply reason before deciding on things, though my faith and life experiences will be the lens through which I perceive the world. I really like our Constitution; I think the founders did a bang-up job. I am wary of ideas that may have the unintended consequence of limiting freedoms guaranteed by that document. I enjoy hearing different viewpoints, especially from other people whom I believe think carefully about their opinions.
I am therefore dismayed when I see people on Facebook write the equivalent of "If you don't agree with me, you can't be my friend." Wow. Really? I am also surprised at how frequently I see it. I rather enjoy having friends who are not in lock-step agreement with me. I really think it enriches my life. But the lack of "tolerance" for differing opinions makes me sad. And tolerance is not a one-way street. I would love to see mutual respect flow from left to right and back again. What exactly are we teaching our children? That we are only friends with people who think just like we do? Apply that notion to skin color or religion instead of politics, and consider what that says about us as a nation.
We live in conflicted times. I hope we find our way back to living with kindness and charity towards our fellow man. I wonder if I'll have any Facebook friends left by then.
03 August 2011
School uniforms are NOT cheaper- at least not in No. VA
I realizing that NOTHING is probably cheaper in Northern VA, but seriously- what a racket the uniform company has. I think they provide uniforms for most of the Catholic schools up here. The size of their business is NOT reflected in their prices. HOLY COW!!! So much for the line of thought that buying uniforms is less expensive than purchasing regular clothes.
So I brought five of the kids (oldest still gone- hope his stuff fits) to order uniforms this morning. I was concerned how this was going to work out. Normally, taking my people ANYWHERE that requires me to concentrate or talk to another person is a huge mistake. Today, I took them on a errand to order multiple items in multiple sizes while other people were also trying to order their stuff before their kids lost it completely. I had two cups of coffee to prepare myself and managed to refrain from adding Baileys to said drinks.
I was really hopeful that this would be well organized (or at least somewhat organized) to handle the traffic flow. Maybe I was in the Army too long and expect too much. Maybe I am just delusional. I might have been hoping for something akin to an Army issue point, but what I saw was closer to Walmart on Black Friday. Okay, so no one was trampled to death. Maybe more like Black Friday at Kohls. It was not particularly orderly, and rather frustrating for those of us who were new to the school (and uniform).
I am so glad I managed to procure some uniforms on the second-hand market, because I think I would have had to give them my first-born otherwise. Really, the jumper for Kindergarteners is over $35??? Even if I didn't have 4 kids that needed uniforms, that seems a tad high. Not to mention the shoes...
Shoes? What's that? You didn't know that there were uniform shoes? Oh, yes indeed. Not to miss an opportunity for sales, there are UNIFORM shoes. Hell, the Army gives you more shoe options than my kids have. The shoes are oxfords, black and clunky and ugly. Even my daughter, #4, has to wear them. She will be heartbroken, since she seems to have my passion for shoes. I was picturing a sweet little pair of Mary Janes.... sigh. But the real awesome part of "uniform" black oxford shoes is their price. $40 for kid sizes, $75 for adult sizes. And since #1 now has man feet, he would need the $75 shoes.
Let's be clear (to borrow a phrase). If anyone is getting $75 shoes around here, it will be me. And they will be high heeled beauties that make me feel like a goddess. Not hideous oxfords for a 13-year-old boy who is liable to outgrow them any second.
So, like any good parent with 6 kids, I took a picture of the shoes with my phone and will head to the shoe store. I think they sell the exact same one for about $25. And if I time it right, I'll catch one of those buy one, get one half off sales.
And then I'll buy some smoking hot heels with all the money I saved ;)
So I brought five of the kids (oldest still gone- hope his stuff fits) to order uniforms this morning. I was concerned how this was going to work out. Normally, taking my people ANYWHERE that requires me to concentrate or talk to another person is a huge mistake. Today, I took them on a errand to order multiple items in multiple sizes while other people were also trying to order their stuff before their kids lost it completely. I had two cups of coffee to prepare myself and managed to refrain from adding Baileys to said drinks.
I was really hopeful that this would be well organized (or at least somewhat organized) to handle the traffic flow. Maybe I was in the Army too long and expect too much. Maybe I am just delusional. I might have been hoping for something akin to an Army issue point, but what I saw was closer to Walmart on Black Friday. Okay, so no one was trampled to death. Maybe more like Black Friday at Kohls. It was not particularly orderly, and rather frustrating for those of us who were new to the school (and uniform).
I am so glad I managed to procure some uniforms on the second-hand market, because I think I would have had to give them my first-born otherwise. Really, the jumper for Kindergarteners is over $35??? Even if I didn't have 4 kids that needed uniforms, that seems a tad high. Not to mention the shoes...
Shoes? What's that? You didn't know that there were uniform shoes? Oh, yes indeed. Not to miss an opportunity for sales, there are UNIFORM shoes. Hell, the Army gives you more shoe options than my kids have. The shoes are oxfords, black and clunky and ugly. Even my daughter, #4, has to wear them. She will be heartbroken, since she seems to have my passion for shoes. I was picturing a sweet little pair of Mary Janes.... sigh. But the real awesome part of "uniform" black oxford shoes is their price. $40 for kid sizes, $75 for adult sizes. And since #1 now has man feet, he would need the $75 shoes.
Let's be clear (to borrow a phrase). If anyone is getting $75 shoes around here, it will be me. And they will be high heeled beauties that make me feel like a goddess. Not hideous oxfords for a 13-year-old boy who is liable to outgrow them any second.
So, like any good parent with 6 kids, I took a picture of the shoes with my phone and will head to the shoe store. I think they sell the exact same one for about $25. And if I time it right, I'll catch one of those buy one, get one half off sales.
And then I'll buy some smoking hot heels with all the money I saved ;)
02 August 2011
Adventures in parenting- cleaning out the family van
Enough was enough.... I could barely see the carpet through the crushed goldfish. So I manned (womanned?) up and got out the vacuum. EW EW EW EW EWWWWWW!
During my cleaning, I found a stuffed cat covered in chalk, a barbie, a stuffed raccoon, 4 happy meal toys, that floatie I've been looking for, a book and a DVD. My tip was 8 cents, in the form of a nickel and 3 pennies. I also found an empty milk bottle, 1 empty caprisun, 4 sour gummy worms (all with a bite off of them), and 2 peppermints (1 stuck to floor, one stuck inside cup holder). What would an archeologist think of my family if my van was discovered in a thousand years???
I moved all the car seats (4 of them), took them out of the van, turned them upside down and shook them, and THEN vacuumed them out. HOLY SMOKES! I had no idea that my baby's carseat was really a biohazard waiting to happen. How does one even get that many goldfish and cheezits in the space by the straps? Why are some of them moist? Should I wash the car seat too? No, have to pickup #2 from camp at noon. Cushion doesn't smell funny, it's probably okay until tomorrow (or next week).
Repeat sequence for other car seat. Move on to boosters- have to be better, right? Nope-ety, nope. #3's cup holder in his seat is encrusted with, well, something. Time to get the all-purpose cleaner and a scrub brush. I am now WAY past the 15 minutes I allocated for this task. And I think I may need a shower.
I grabbed the windex while I was in the house. Might as well clean off the car-window-finger art that my children make. It is very hard to see through it. Good Lord, what IS THIS? Ewww, and there is brown something in a spray pattern on the trim. I guess it was juice at some point. SIGH. Back to the scrub brush and cleaner.
At this point, my absence was noticed by all the people. Thankfully, only two stayed outside to "help". They decided that the rows of seats in the van made a great obstacle course. Now I am trying to clean around crawling and climbing kids. It is enough to make me start a "No eating in the van" policy. But we all now that is unrealistic. It only lasts until I am running late and a child "forgets" to eat breakfast and is handed a granola bar instead.
Time to refasten the car seats. This is when I like to try new seating arrangements. I am always trying to find the seating order which results in the least fighting. Never mind that I drive a 12 passenger party van, so really, there isn't anything to fight over. Plenty of space for all, with a DVD player to boot. They still manage to argue; my new favorite is "He's taking all the air-conditioning...." Oh, brother.
This time, I am trying out the youngest two in the front, #3 and #4 in the middle, and oldest two in the back. Of course, #1 is at scout camp, so we aren't getting the full effect yet. I'll keep you posted. The only one who hasn't complained so far is the baby. Luckily for them, a goldfish was dropped and ground into oblivion on the carpet this morning, so another vacuuming is already on the horizon.
Maybe I can pay my oldest to do it.....
During my cleaning, I found a stuffed cat covered in chalk, a barbie, a stuffed raccoon, 4 happy meal toys, that floatie I've been looking for, a book and a DVD. My tip was 8 cents, in the form of a nickel and 3 pennies. I also found an empty milk bottle, 1 empty caprisun, 4 sour gummy worms (all with a bite off of them), and 2 peppermints (1 stuck to floor, one stuck inside cup holder). What would an archeologist think of my family if my van was discovered in a thousand years???
I moved all the car seats (4 of them), took them out of the van, turned them upside down and shook them, and THEN vacuumed them out. HOLY SMOKES! I had no idea that my baby's carseat was really a biohazard waiting to happen. How does one even get that many goldfish and cheezits in the space by the straps? Why are some of them moist? Should I wash the car seat too? No, have to pickup #2 from camp at noon. Cushion doesn't smell funny, it's probably okay until tomorrow (or next week).
Repeat sequence for other car seat. Move on to boosters- have to be better, right? Nope-ety, nope. #3's cup holder in his seat is encrusted with, well, something. Time to get the all-purpose cleaner and a scrub brush. I am now WAY past the 15 minutes I allocated for this task. And I think I may need a shower.
I grabbed the windex while I was in the house. Might as well clean off the car-window-finger art that my children make. It is very hard to see through it. Good Lord, what IS THIS? Ewww, and there is brown something in a spray pattern on the trim. I guess it was juice at some point. SIGH. Back to the scrub brush and cleaner.
At this point, my absence was noticed by all the people. Thankfully, only two stayed outside to "help". They decided that the rows of seats in the van made a great obstacle course. Now I am trying to clean around crawling and climbing kids. It is enough to make me start a "No eating in the van" policy. But we all now that is unrealistic. It only lasts until I am running late and a child "forgets" to eat breakfast and is handed a granola bar instead.
Time to refasten the car seats. This is when I like to try new seating arrangements. I am always trying to find the seating order which results in the least fighting. Never mind that I drive a 12 passenger party van, so really, there isn't anything to fight over. Plenty of space for all, with a DVD player to boot. They still manage to argue; my new favorite is "He's taking all the air-conditioning...." Oh, brother.
This time, I am trying out the youngest two in the front, #3 and #4 in the middle, and oldest two in the back. Of course, #1 is at scout camp, so we aren't getting the full effect yet. I'll keep you posted. The only one who hasn't complained so far is the baby. Luckily for them, a goldfish was dropped and ground into oblivion on the carpet this morning, so another vacuuming is already on the horizon.
Maybe I can pay my oldest to do it.....
31 July 2011
The joys of renting (and living with other people's attempts at interior design)
I have been in the house 90 days- threshold has been crossed. We have lived here long enough that there is noticeable dust on my furniture. I have been a busy girl since we moved here, aside from unpacking and child herding. I have repainted, because most of the colors were gawd-awful. White entryway, too light green kitchen, yucky yellow bathroom and bedroom, too dark blue bathroom...need I go on? It is now warm and cozy and homey. :) At least for the next year or so.
House hunting around here was down right hysterical. Some of the homes are circa 1970s and have the wallpaper to prove it. If I saw terrible wallpaper on line, sometimes I just ruled the house out completely. But the best was when people clearly tried to do what the designers do on HGTV, but failed. Next move, I'll take pics of the champion designs, so to speak, and post them here.
I have adapted to some of the, er, interesting decorative features of the house. Like the half-wall wood panelling in the family room. Or the full-on wood panelling in the basement rec room, nicely complimented by carpet that is the color (and almost the texture) of a Brillo pad. Then there was the carpet in the master bath, which was ripped out the day after I signed the lease. I assume those things were done many years ago, when it seemed like a good idea, not necessarily to achieve a design scheme.
But then there is the Tuscan Room.
Our dining room is faux-finished in a deep reddish-goldish color (sponged). Faux-finishes are WAY out of date. But the owners love it, because they painted it, so ALL the tenants must keep it. Um, seriously? You don't live here. And how the hell am I supposed to cover up those nail holes? I guess I am not, and that is why there are a dozen nails/ screws still in the wall. I did use my art work to hide the worst of them.
Then the light fixture is a cut glass chandelier. Awfully formal for my pub height, slate top table.
This room goes with pretty much nothing that I own. (Hmm. No wait, there is that one water color of Venice that we own.) It actually looks okay now, I found the most complementary wall hangings I had. And the room color seems less obnoxious, because I made sure all the downstairs paint colors work with the Tuscan Room. Before, the other rooms were white and light green. And then, poof, here's a Tuscan Room. It made no sense, in regards to design. At least we have good flow now, and I LOVE the format living room that leads into the Tuscan Room. The color is called Tiny Fawn and it is so rich- looks great with the piano, club chairs and books. I like to sit in there and admire the cleanliness, since no one under 18 is allowed in that room.
But today, I found another design oddity. Our owners like brushed nickel in the bathroom. Well, so do I. Fabulous.
But the master bath (carpeting aside) looks like it was designed by a schizophrenic. Clearly, they either started to redo and ran out of funds/ interest/ time, or they couldn't pick and went two different directions in the same room. We have aforementioned brushed nickel over the sink, but, if you turn around, the towel racks, shelving and TP holder are black wrought iron looking things. The towel racks are retarded because the bar is only an inch away from the wall. Very hard to hang a towel on. And just to keep it varied, there in a hanging light fixture near the shower that is (wait for it) copper. IN THE BATHROOM. So as I was dusting the light fixture in the bathroom (because it's been 90 days), the dust was mixed in with green from the copper. You know, because it is a BATHROOM and very humid in there. Perhaps not the best idea ever. And the window looks like it should open, but it doesn't. Why not???
Just more things to add to my list of "Things I will NEVER have in my real house." It includes other design ideas such as: 4"square tile with big caulk lines on the kitchen counter; Washer and dryer in the middle of the kitchen; White tile on the kitchen floor; Cream colored carpet (in a rental house???); Work triangles so tight, that two appliances could not be open at the same time; Stand up showers with no lip to hold water in (that house was a bunch of DIYers- they also tried to lay carpet, run wire and were responsible for the next jem); Replacing a window with french door (good), but leaving the cement window sill in the yard next to the deck (???).
Like a comedian I saw once joked, "Just because Home Depot sells the stuff to do it, doesn't mean you should try it."
No joke.
House hunting around here was down right hysterical. Some of the homes are circa 1970s and have the wallpaper to prove it. If I saw terrible wallpaper on line, sometimes I just ruled the house out completely. But the best was when people clearly tried to do what the designers do on HGTV, but failed. Next move, I'll take pics of the champion designs, so to speak, and post them here.
I have adapted to some of the, er, interesting decorative features of the house. Like the half-wall wood panelling in the family room. Or the full-on wood panelling in the basement rec room, nicely complimented by carpet that is the color (and almost the texture) of a Brillo pad. Then there was the carpet in the master bath, which was ripped out the day after I signed the lease. I assume those things were done many years ago, when it seemed like a good idea, not necessarily to achieve a design scheme.
But then there is the Tuscan Room.
Our dining room is faux-finished in a deep reddish-goldish color (sponged). Faux-finishes are WAY out of date. But the owners love it, because they painted it, so ALL the tenants must keep it. Um, seriously? You don't live here. And how the hell am I supposed to cover up those nail holes? I guess I am not, and that is why there are a dozen nails/ screws still in the wall. I did use my art work to hide the worst of them.
Then the light fixture is a cut glass chandelier. Awfully formal for my pub height, slate top table.
This room goes with pretty much nothing that I own. (Hmm. No wait, there is that one water color of Venice that we own.) It actually looks okay now, I found the most complementary wall hangings I had. And the room color seems less obnoxious, because I made sure all the downstairs paint colors work with the Tuscan Room. Before, the other rooms were white and light green. And then, poof, here's a Tuscan Room. It made no sense, in regards to design. At least we have good flow now, and I LOVE the format living room that leads into the Tuscan Room. The color is called Tiny Fawn and it is so rich- looks great with the piano, club chairs and books. I like to sit in there and admire the cleanliness, since no one under 18 is allowed in that room.
But today, I found another design oddity. Our owners like brushed nickel in the bathroom. Well, so do I. Fabulous.
But the master bath (carpeting aside) looks like it was designed by a schizophrenic. Clearly, they either started to redo and ran out of funds/ interest/ time, or they couldn't pick and went two different directions in the same room. We have aforementioned brushed nickel over the sink, but, if you turn around, the towel racks, shelving and TP holder are black wrought iron looking things. The towel racks are retarded because the bar is only an inch away from the wall. Very hard to hang a towel on. And just to keep it varied, there in a hanging light fixture near the shower that is (wait for it) copper. IN THE BATHROOM. So as I was dusting the light fixture in the bathroom (because it's been 90 days), the dust was mixed in with green from the copper. You know, because it is a BATHROOM and very humid in there. Perhaps not the best idea ever. And the window looks like it should open, but it doesn't. Why not???
Just more things to add to my list of "Things I will NEVER have in my real house." It includes other design ideas such as: 4"square tile with big caulk lines on the kitchen counter; Washer and dryer in the middle of the kitchen; White tile on the kitchen floor; Cream colored carpet (in a rental house???); Work triangles so tight, that two appliances could not be open at the same time; Stand up showers with no lip to hold water in (that house was a bunch of DIYers- they also tried to lay carpet, run wire and were responsible for the next jem); Replacing a window with french door (good), but leaving the cement window sill in the yard next to the deck (???).
Like a comedian I saw once joked, "Just because Home Depot sells the stuff to do it, doesn't mean you should try it."
No joke.
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